Orphan

by The Raygun Girls

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about

2 years in the making. 13 tracks of crunching, melodic Goth Metal heaviness detailing a journey through the pain of death, surgery, the thought of living on the edge, and surviving through it all.

credits

released May 8, 2020

Geoff: vocals, guitar, bass, drum and synth programming
Ryako: vocals on "Lie With Me"

All songs written by Geoff Saavedra, except "Lie With Me" lyrics by Ryako, "The Harm Anthem" lyrics by Petra Faulk, "You Dumb Sick" lyrics by Tasha Gibbs.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Raygun Girls New York, New York

The Raygun Girls is a one man band creating Hard Rock for the Apocalypse, crossing genres with Metal, Goth, Industrial and Punk music. The sound has been compared to Rob Zombie, Killing Joke, Disturbed, and Prong.

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Track Name: Crushing Me
All I know
are the pin pricks of pain
that control me
that hold me
from reaching the end
I push it aside
in my mind
eating energy
it’s taking a toll
I’m losing
I’m losing control

These feelings are crushing me
The anger, the pain, the loss is too great
These feelings are crushing me
The anger, the pain, the loss is too great


Your hands are soothing
your voice is calming
it takes the red haze away
You light my darkest path
and help me find the way
but your ghost is fading
and your body is gone
My memories are slipping away

I was about to give up hope
when you came to me
when you saved me

These feelings are crushing me
The anger, the pain, the loss is too great
These feelings are crushing me
The anger, the pain, the loss is too great
Track Name: Haunting Heart
My strength
It comes from being happy to be alive
for I could have died
so many times
the simple things
are getting so complicated
thinking too much
and feeling not enough
I am the wind that is
stuck in the tornado

Looking for freedom
looking for your touch
Your hands are calling
Your heart is still haunting
Looking for freedom
looking for your touch
Your hands are calling
Your heart is still haunting me

I'm about to fall
and it seems that you don't care at all
self absorbed
and self contained
you keep yourself far away
The dreamer in me
is searching for reality
but all I get is a slap back
from you
I am so tired
of trying to break through

Looking for freedom
looking for your touch
Your hands are calling
Your heart is still haunting
Looking for freedom
looking for your touch
Your hands are calling
Your heart is still haunting me

Your words are like knives
when you say goodbye
Cutting through my pages
cutting into my brain

Looking for freedom
looking for your touch
Your hands are calling
Your heart is still haunting
Looking for freedom
looking for your touch
Your hands are calling
Your heart is still haunting me
Track Name: My Destroyer
I’ve been the devil
I’ve been the queen
I tried to give you
everything you need
I am a liar
I am a saint
I give you all
of my inner hate

I just try to keep it all alive

Your destroyer
is my desire
What you see kills all of me
Your desire
Is my destroyer
What you see Kills all of me

I’ve been your demon
I’ve been your prince
kept the dreams at bay
and promised lots of nothing
I am a poet
I am all fear
These hands crush it all
with eyes full of tears

I just try to keep it all alive

Your destroyer
is my desire
What you see kills all of me
Your desire
is my destroyer
What you see kills all of me

You watch and can’t be seen
You’re closing in on me
Destroying all I am
Controlling all you can

Your destroyer
is my desire
What you see kills all of me
Your desire
is my destroyer
What you see kills all of me
Your destroyer
your desire
My destroyer kills all of me
Your desire
is my destroyer
What you see kills all of me
Track Name: She Was
Beautiful and she was
In the moonlight
Beautiful in the sun
Swimming
dancing
round my head
And she was
Round my head

Beautiful and she was
In the moonlight
Beautiful in the sun
Swimming
dancing
round my head
And she was
Round my head

Beautiful and she was
In the moonlight
Beautiful in the sun
Swimming
dancing
round my head
And she was
Round my head

Beautiful in the sun
Swimming
dancing
round my head
And she was
Beautiful
and she was
in the moonlight
swimming dancing
round my head
swimming dancing
swimming dancing
swimming dancing
round my head
Beautiful in the sunlight

and she was
In the moonlight
Beautiful in the sun
Swimming
dancing
round my head
And she was
Round my head
Swimming dancing
round my head
she was
Beautiful in the sun
Swimming dancing
swimming dancing
round my head
Track Name: This Hell
Anger depression despair
takes up all the air around me
crushing all who care
My back is breaking
under the weight
my heart is aching
too many tears too much too late
My eyes are blinded
My fears are burning
My tears are driving the hate

This hell is what I make it
This hell is what I see
This hell is made for all of us
this hell inside of me

People are dying
people are suffering
your phone is more important than your dreams
fear of the other
fear of the unknown
you'd rather kill your brother
than give a piece of your home
you're piling on top of each other
watching everyone bleed

This hell is what you make it
this hell is what you see
this hell is made by all of us
this hell is what you feed

In this hell
anger depression despair
In this hell
you avoid the signs to beware

Push it under
push it deep
push it far below
and keep it beneath
it still won't disappear
won't go away
it just fuels the fire
for another day

This hell is what you make it
This hell is what you see
This hell is made for all of us
this hell inside of me

In this hell
Track Name: Promises
Preparing for the oncoming
preparing for the end
Let me hold you
Let me mold you
I’ll be the one who defends
You’re Forced into hiding
you’re forced to obey
One day
you will betray

Pick it up and run
Run far
Pick it up and run
Run far away

Promises
Promises
it’ll turn out okay
Cause we’re getting out alive
Promises
Promises
We’ll be okay
Cause we’re all getting out alive

You’re Living a life
looking over your shoulder every second you breathe
Living a nightmare and every second I check are you alive
are you Fighting for freedom
are you fighting for honesty
It’s time to go
Time to let it go

Pick it up and run
Run far
Pick it up and run
Run far away

Promises
Promises
it’ll turn out okay
Cause we’re getting out alive
Promises
Promises
We’ll be okay
Cause we’re all getting out alive

Save everyone
And burn it all down
Save everything
But burn it all down
A new history
we burned it all down
Destroy the faithless
And burn you all down

Promises
Promises
it’ll turn out okay
Cause we’re getting out alive
Promises
Promises
We’ll be okay
Cause we’re all getting out alive

This was all lies
Just to keep you still
It is all lies
Just to keep you ill
You are all lies
And you will remain
The same
Track Name: Of Man and Machine
Proprietary programming
Installed at birth
Pay rent for your thoughts
Lease your soul
Raise your worth
Privatize your prayers
pay for time
at the altar of despair
free thought is a crime

all we want is a solution
all we want is some relief
But there is only the purity
Of realizing grief

microchipped and scanned
there is no end at hand
electrocutionary troubling
another signal begins
a binary language
of sin
and we can't see within

all we want is a solution
all we want is some relief
But there is only the purity
Of realizing grief

Fall down the spiral
resistance is futile

One mind, one thought
a single piece of code that becomes
a true awakening
it's finally time to give in
and kneel to submission
and let us win

all we want is a solution
all we want is some relief
But there is only the purity
Of realizing grief
all we want is a solution
all we want is some relief
But there is only the purity
Of being machine
(resistance is futile
resistance
resist us)
Track Name: The Harm Anthem
She looks in the mirror
Can't see past the scars
Tries to shut out the words
That feel like burns from cigars

Daisy's on the floor
Her heads on the door
Holding on to her heart
She can't take anymore

Daisy's in chains
Daisy's in chains
She's at war with herself
And going down in flames

She sings Ashes, Ashes
The girl falls down
Can't get back up
Cause she's coming unwound

Daisy's razor blades
Daisy's cutting games
Runs across hidden skin
Now to hide the blood stains

Daisy's in chains
Daisy's in chains
She's at war with herself
And going down in flames

Put them all away
Time to put a smile on her face
Opens up the door
Makes sure nothing's out of place

Daisy's in chains
Daisy's in chains
She's at war with herself
And going down in flames

Daisy's in chains
Daisy's in chains
Dreaming of the day
She can silence the pain
Track Name: Damaged
I got these chemicals running in my blood
living and changing me
building blocks
of broken dreams
they’re changing me
these chemicals burning through my veins
distorting my body
I’m in pain
I’m born disillusioned
and grown in the ruin

I’m damaged
I’m damaged
I’m damaged
Damaged and drained

My body is killing me
twisting my form and my dreams
my heart gets weaker every day
with the anger and the pain
I cannot change this life
no matter how hard I try

I’m living with the feeling
that some day soon I will die

I’m damaged
I’m damaged
I’m damaged
Damaged and drained

I wake up in the morning and I say to myself
Just breath in
My eyes open up and I say to myself
just breath out

I got these chemicals running in my blood
living and changing me
building blocks
of broken dreams

I’m damaged
I’m damaged
I’m damaged
Damaged and drained
Track Name: I'm Still Alive
Angels calling for my blood
Destroying peace that holds someone
Someone beside me
someone inside me
Everything’s gone in the colors I choose
I won’t move the mountains for you

I’m still alive
Just look at me
These scars have cut to the inside
And my fears still bleed
I’m still alive
Jut look at me
These scars have healed on the outside
but these fears still bleed

And it’s finally come down to this
breaking down the ones we miss
We fear all that we can see
You fear all of me
I feel the burning
I feel the rage
I feel the need to break this cage

I’m still alive
Just look at me
These scars have cut to the inside
And my fears still bleed
I’m still alive
Jut look at me
These scars have healed on the outside
but these fears still bleed

Simple shadows passing by
can you see the deaths that I survived

The simplest truth
the quietest scream
the loudest heartbeat
that you’ll ever see
The strangest story
most colorful dream
these are all stuck inside of me

But I’m still alive
Just look at me
These scars have cut to the inside
And my fears still bleed
I’m still alive
Jut look at me
These scars have healed on the outside
but these fears still bleed
Track Name: Rip It Away
Every morning
they all say
Suck it up
cause We’re all dying anyway
and you still have Dreams of white
and Dreams of saviours
but we’re all just dust
No angels
just strangers

You take it away
You rip it all away
rip it away from me
You take it all away from me

this loss is too big
Too big for your religion
cause I’m wounded
I’m pained
I’m distraught
This way
I tear at the feelings
Crying in this hole
I’m alone
Dying Alone

You take it away
You rip it all away
rip it away from me
You take it all away from me

I can’t stand this burning
I can’t stand the touch
Don’t try to save me
I’ve lost too much

we’re all just dust
I’ve lost too much

You take it away
You rip it all away
Rip it away from me
You take it all away from me
You take
You take it away
You rip it all away
Rip it
Rip it away from me
You take it all away
Track Name: Obedience
In the silence of serenity
We get lost
in what we cannot see
your feet are planted on this ground
and your head is lost high in the clouds
Turn around
Keep walking backwards
The sun
is blinding
And you can’t think
About running
keep running
keep running from the answers
Simple truth
simple justice
keep it here
You keep running from the answers
Just keeping it real

I am the problem
I am the key
I am the one who won’t simply be
I am the privilege
in the chosen few
Stuck on the bottom
and pulled down
Kept in the darkness
I’m drowned in the crowd

If I take this remedy
Will you all see
The captivated hypocrisy
Of my independence
my stubbornness
And your need

To run
keep them running
keep them running for the answers
Simple truth
simple justice
Just keep it real

I am the problem
I am the key
I am the one who won’t simply be
I am the privilege
in the chosen few
Stuck on the bottom
and pulled down
Kept in the darkness
I’m drowned in the crowd

Pull me up and pull me out
Keep pouring it on
pull me up and pull me out
Or just let me drown